We have TWO videos for you to see today.  First we’ll start with Martha warming up, then we’ll move on to some more really good stuff.

FIRST video here (second one below):

“When I did my stretch, all the hood rats on my cell block wanted to break off a piece of Martha Stewart’s ass, so I decided some bitch needed to get got. I walked into the chow hall, picked out the biggest bull dyke and I stuck her. From then on, prison was easier than making blueberry scones. Shaq, I hope your mom doesn’t still hold a grudge.”

WATCH Martha Stewart in RARE form:

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